They were not of this planet. Not
even of this galaxy. Their home was a few million light years away from the furthest
point of the universe. They were the reason for dinosaur wipe-out It was not an
asteroid. It was their spaceship. They had run out of gold. Their ship had been
pulled into a worm hole the size of a peanut and the next thing they knew,
earth was pulling them down. They escaped in an escape pod just as it entered
the atmosphere and hurtled towards Mexico. That country has still not revived completely.
The ship ran on nuclear energy of ladders. So when it crashed the nuclear
explosion was so to say… elevated. Everything was gone. Well almost everything.
Rodents are cunning creatures. They survived. They knew The Subway was always
free of unnecessary heat and radiation.
Their home planet was mostly ice.
They had evolved on ice and ice they needed to keep themselves alive. So they
hung around the poles looking for gold and a way to escape. On their travels
they realized what a big mess they had created. The dinosaurs were gone. The
continents were breaking. So they decided to stay and make things right. The
sky was full of smoke, ash and clouds of colors like shit. There was no light.
So they accumulated these clouds and stacked them together. The sky was clear.
And there was light.
A few of those shit colored clouds
had scattered around in this endeavor. But that was permissible. They regrouped
as much of them as they could and made them rain over a vast landmark that
people later called Africa. It was big enough to allow a significant amount of
space for what they called a desert. The scattered clouds made similar small
deserts at the other places they had spread out to.
After clearing up the sky and
making the deserts, they believed they deserved to have a proper place of
operation for themselves, something like an office. They pulled in a few
strings with the continents and assembled them in the certain way. Some of the
bigger landmasses had to be broken away. This partition was more effective as
well as practical. Boundaries were separated by water. Yet the dragons were
heartbroken. They couldn't have their barbeque smokers anymore and flying
across continents was expensive. Also there was this whole new concept of jet
lag. Maybe that’s why they decided to commit mass harakiri. Only three of their
eggs were left behind. Time turned them into stone. That’s how Daenerys
Targaryen found them anyway. But that’s a completely different story. The
continental drift, unlike Tokyo drift, lasted longer. Of course it wasn't an easy job. They still
tend to shift wayward even after eons of discipline. Though the pace is very
slow. It was much like driving traffic on a jammed road. There was a lot of
collision. Fortunately, by mistake, the Indo-Australian ran like a raging bull
and rammed into the Eurasian plate. The land sandwiched between the two made
the Himalayas. They had formed other home too. The Alps were one of them. But
the excitement of a new home is hard to kill. Besides the Alps were ancient. So
they waited for it to grow and gather ice.
Meanwhile the rodents and mammals
had evolved significantly. They still felt sorry for the dinosaurs. It was fun
watching the little raptors draw doorknobs on tree barks and try opening them. The
Orange heads were reminded of their igloos back home. This gave them the idea.
They set out to make humans. They set out to make them in their own image. They
had no idea how much they would hate it later. It took a lot of work and a lot
more Gold. But the time span it took the humans to learn what sarcasm meant was
most excruciating. Even more than raptors making door knobs on tree barks and
knocking on them. To some, sarcasm is still a foreign language.
They tried telling people the
truth about themselves and their stories the whole time, but something more
important always cropped up. Alexander, Genghis khan, Hitler, the plague, the
world cups and puppy love affairs are a few examples. The Sumerians were smart
people. They made clay tablets about the Orange heads. Okay they were probably
not that smart, but still. Who can tell if Steve Jobs actually lifted it up
from there? The Vikings didn't find it hard to grasp the fact of another world.
The rest of the world bi-polarized it into heaven and hell. It wasn't as precise
as the Vikings had envisioned it but who was complaining. At least they were
true to its heart. Heaven was a cool place which almost always appeared blue.
Like ice. Hell was fire.
But the best were the Indians.
Some of them at least. They came up with a theory that left even the Orange
Heads baffled. ‘Everything is an illusion’. Now how can one argue with that?
And then they grew Cannabis One puff of hash and everything was actually an
illusion. Even the Orange heads couldn’t deny that. They loved it so much that
they became a kind of brand ambassadors for it. One of them once smoked so much
in one day that his throat became blue. He sat on a mountain and didn’t get up
for days. His friends, the other orange heads, tried to scare him up by putting
a snake around his neck, but he still didn’t move. Finally when he got up he
told them he had seen God. They understood that he was permanently high. It
couldn’t be reversed.
The rest, as they said was
history.
The massive use of gold had led to
the scarcity of the mineral. Hence it became precious. Everyone wanted them. It
became hard for the Orange heads to accumulate it. Life was hard. Hash was
banned. They began spreading out into the human world, living human lives.
That’s when they started hating it. The humans were still struggling with their
shaggy dog stories. Yet the one thing they probably loved as well as hated
about the human race was their inability to understand and appreciate a good joke.
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-- kafir.
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